In The Arms of The Angel
by teresa
Summary: My first Escaflowne ficcy. This takes place several years after the series. Completed!
1. I'm So Tired

I've had this story stewing in my brain for a long time now, but I try to only ever write two stories at a time. Well, I can't work on one of them right now because the hard copy is across the country and fanfiction.net is totally down, but I can do _this_, so we'll call it a trade off.

You know, I should learn to concentrate on one anime at a time. I'm so bad. But at least I do a relatively good job of always finishing what I start, so yeah, you can count on me. If I write a story with a real plot, I'll finish it. It may take forever and then some, but oh, I'll finish it. This particular story contains spoilers...um...yeah, probably. I don't know! It takes place after the series, so we'll just say it spoils all of Escaflowne, because that way I won't get people saying I spoiled something on accident. But really, if you haven't watched all of that series yet and are reading fanfiction, you're either like my friend Agent Kodama who tries to get spoilers by reading such stuff because she is forever traumatized by the time I "tricked her into watching Fushigi Yuugi while failing to mention that it makes you cry!" and therefore doesn't like to watch anime blind, or you're just silly. It's only 26 episodes, and it is one of my favorite animes of all time. It's super duper! Watch it! Yee! Okay, enough for my one woman ad-campaign, on with the story.

*****

In The Arms of The Angel

Part 1

*****

__

I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

-Sarah McLachlan _I Will Remember You_

"I'm heading home now, alright?" Hitomi peeked into the eternally open door of her superior, the woman who had mentored her when she first came to this advertising firm. "My eyes are about to fall out."

"That's what you get for staying up all night." the woman shook her head at Hitomi. "Ms. Kanzaki, how many times have I told you that if you have coffee at five in the evening, it will keep you up much later than any human should be awake." The woman's lips were as tight as the perfect French twist that held back her auburn hair, but Hitomi had seen this look on her face before and she knew that it wasn't meant to be as scary as an unknowing onlooker might find it to be.

"I know, Mrs. Ashman, but you see, I'm suffering from jet lag. It's so hard for me to know what time of day it should be." Hitomi tried to look serious, but she couldn't hide the smile the act brought to her lips.

"Hitomi, that excuse might be more viable a few months ago, but you know that jet lag doesn't last that long, no matter how far away Japan is." the woman chuckled slightly, rolling her eyes.

"I know it, Lydia, but you haven't taught me how to lie yet." Hitomi pointed out.

"You're supposed to learn that in school, you know that." Lydia shot back. "Now get out of here, you sloth. And remember, I need that report on the Johnson firm by Friday."

"I'll have it to you on Wednesday." Hitomi called over her shoulder as she left, heading out into the streets of New York, the city she had called home for the last three months.

----------

"You have two new messages." the mechanical voice inside Hitomi's answering machine informed her before she hit the play button and heading to her tiny kitchen for some tea. "Message one, 10:24 a.m." a bored sounding man's voice came in after this "Hello, Ms. Kanzaki, I'm with Sprint Wireless, and I was calling to ask you if you've considered a new long distance plan that is strongly--"

"No thanks." Hitomi told the machine as she skipped the message and waited for the next one. It was another salesperson, so she deleted both messages before finishing her cup of tea and sitting in front of her laptop computer to work on the report she had promised to finish by tomorrow. "I wish a human would call me." she sighed quietly before cracking her neck and losing herself in the distant professionalism of her work. She loved to work because it made her forget that she had the most pathetic social life of any New Yorker she'd ever met.

Hitomi had been relatively popular in junior high, and even though her best friend Yukari had slowly cut off from her as she became more involved and devoted to her boyfriend Amano, Hitomi had never felt as alone as she did in her new home. The distance from her home had only shown her beyond the shadow of a doubt that all the friends she had at home were mere acquaintances who didn't bother with contacting someone so far away. Hitomi had lost all contact with Yukari and Amano when she went to college, but she had heard that the two of them had been married. It was strange how the distance between people could grow so much that the girl who was once her best friend hadn't even thought of inviting her to such an important occasion.

Perhaps she was simply too worn out to try to maintain such relationships. Hitomi didn't like to think of her time on Gaea when she was only a teenager, but she knew that even if she ignored the strange and fantastic memories of that faraway place that could be reached only by deep emotions, it had forever changed who she was. She remembered when she used to tell girls fortunes as a game, but the fun had disappeared after the terror of war on Gaea. It had forced her to grow up as well, making her realize that Yukari loved Amano more than she ever could, making her face the tragic realities of death and war and heartbreak. For a while, Hitomi had tried to forget those times by going out with boy after boy, hoping that she would not think of the boy with the flaming eyes and the wings of an angel. But no matter how many boys she kissed and held and tried to love, she could not forget Van Fanel. She could not forget Gaea, or the people she had met there, the things she had learned and seen, or the life she had left behind. And no matter how useless it was, when Hitomi was lonely or sad or particularly aware of how much she missed all that, she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had chosen Gaea over her home.

__

Maybe Gaea was meant to be my home. She thought aimlessly, realizing she wasn't getting any work done as she went to the kitchen for another cup of tea. _I never did a reading on it because I was afraid of living in a world where I was needed, a world where I knew I would be missed if I left. Not like here._

"As long as I'm in your heart, we're never really separated, right?" Van's voice echoed in her head.

__

----------

"Lord Van! Are you ready?" Merle entered the king's chambers with barely a knock of warning, but she knew it didn't bother him. She was the only family he'd had for a long time. "I'm so excited!"

"It's very important, isn't it, Merle?" Van couldn't help but smile at his retainer, his friend, his sister. "This meeting will help to secure a lasting peace between all the people of Gaea. But somehow, I feel as though you're only excited to see our old friends."

"You know you want to see Allen and the others again too, you hypocrite." Merle narrowed her eyes and straightened her back, for once acting like the full grown woman that she was. "It's been too long."

"It has." Van's voice was small and sad, and Merle winced at the sound.

"She won't be there no matter how much you miss her, Lord Van." Merle placed a sympathetic hand on his back. "You shouldn't have let her go, you know."

"I know." Van touched his formal robes, feeling the small bump under the cloth over his chest. He always kept Hitomi's pendant close to his heart. "And now all of Fanelia is clamoring for me to find a queen so that I might give them an heir. I did this to myself, I suppose. They march women before me, and yet none of them sparks my interest. I only want her."

"Very romantic, Lord Van, but you must realize that you can't live forever." Merle told him, acting as though she was older and wiser than him. "What will happen to your people when you leave them?"

"I don't know, Merle. I'm hoping that by the time I die, they'll have no need for a king." Van told her, letting her needlessly straighten his robes before hustling him out of his chambers and down toward the carriage that waited to take them both to meet with Allen Schezar, who would be escorting them to this peace summit.

"I think you should make someone else take your place. Like Lord Dryden or even Lord Allen." Merle joked. "At least Allen would have no problem producing an heir. He could produce a country full of them. Maybe you should borrow one of his children."

"Very funny, Merle." Van shook his head. "If only Allen knew you said such wicked things about him. He always thought you were such a sweet and innocent young thing." they both laughed as they exited the palace, walking casually to the carriage with an armed escort.

"Don't tell him any differently or he'll be after me next." Merle warned Van, giggling at the idea of the infamous playboy chasing after her.

"I don't think--" Van was cut off as one of his guards suddenly fell to the ground, an arrow coming out of his chest. At that moment, chaos broke loose as arrows rained on them from various directions. Van immediately scooped up Merle, shielding her body with his own as he cursed his stupid complacence at leaving his sword in his chambers. Grasping about, he found one in the belt of a dead guard, his eyes flashing and ready for battle as he tried to get Merle to the safety of the castle while she kicked and protested at his protection.

"There's so many!" one of Van's guards yelled right before he was riddled with arrows and fell to the ground.

"Let me go!" Merle growled, struggling in his grasp. "I'm not the one they're after!"

"They'll kill you too." Van hissed, jumping over a dead body before almost falling over as Merle's struggles caused her to accidentally punched him in the throat.

"Sorry!" she gasped as he stumbled. "I didn't mean...Lord Van?" Merle suddenly realized that his eyes had gone glassy. "I didn't hit you that hard, did I?" Merle yelped as she was dropped to the ground right before Van collapsed on top of her, two arrows embedded in his back. "Lord Van!" she cried out, struggling to get out from under him as he gurgled blood. He held her down as three more arrows hit home.

"Stay...Merle...too late...at least...I can protect you..." he gasped as another pair of arrows hit him. Van could barely feel the pain of the arrows in him, his whole body was going numb slowly. Merle's screams faded from his hearing as he slowly closed his eyes, witnessing a flash of images so fast that all he retained was the impression of his life flashing before him. "I'm dying." he gasped, sounding surprised that after all he'd been through, he was finally leaving this world and moving to the next.

"No! You won't die! You can't!" Merle continued to struggle under him as arrows continued to hit their target with a ruthless repetition. Van barely heard her as he focused his thoughts on his regrets, finally settling on a memory of hugging Hitomi before she left.

"I wanted...to protect her...I still...do." he rasped to no one in particular, his hand trembling madly as he struggled to grasp his only piece of the girl that had meant so much to him. As his breathing slowed, he felt the warmth of the pendant in his palm, so small and yet so important to him. Merle began to sob as he began to go cold, his heart beating slower and slower until it stopped, and still the arrows rained down.

"Stop it! He's dead! Just stop!" she screamed from under her shield of his corpse. "Please stop!" And still the arrows rained down.

----------

Hitomi screamed into the night, struggling in a tangle of sheets, trying to escape the horrible dream she'd just woken from. She hated nightmares, especially since they usually ended up coming true to at least some extent. It was the last bit of fortune telling that she unwittingly retained, and she couldn't escape it. The worst had been when she had dreamed of her mother dying in a traffic accident two days before it happened. She still felt guilty for not warning her, only hoping that the power of her hope could save her. It had not worked, and it only left her feeling like she could have stopped the accident if she'd had more faith in her visions.

But this nightmare...perhaps it was only because she'd been thinking of her time on Gaea before she fell asleep, but perhaps not. What if Van really would be killed like that, soaking Merle's body in his blood as he was riddled with arrows? Hitomi sobbed raggedly at the images burned into her memory as she shakily got out of bed for a glass of water to calm her down. The dream had been so terrible, and so real all at once. What if Van was already dead?

"You're being stupid, Hitomi. Nothing can kill Van, remember?" Hitomi told herself, forcing herself to recall images of a terribly injured boy who recovered miraculously again and again. "Nothing can...nothing." she repeated in a heated whisper, gulping down her water before returning to bed. Maybe now she could sleep in peace.

*****

The End (Of Part 1, That Is)


	2. Will You Remember...

And I'm updating now! Too bad that Fanfiction.net isn't up. Stupid website. How is it that I learned to rely on you so much? Why? Why!? Okay, enough of that. I have grape soda and music. It's writing time! Oh, and thanks to all you who read past the first chapter. My sister read it and wanted to throw something at my head.

*****

In The Arms of The Angel

Part 2

*****

__

I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard   
  
-Sarah McLachlan _I Will Remember You_

Hitomi waved frantically at all the taxis carelessly passing by her rain soaked figure. _I really should buy an umbrella_. she thought absently right before a passing pedestrian's elbow accidentally hit her off-balance body, sending her stumbling into a disgustingly deep puddle. She whirled around, ready to unleash her anger on the perpetrator, but no one noticed her, and she realized that it could have been anyone of these apathetic passers by. 

"I hate this city." Hitomi grumbled, getting back on the sidewalk and noticing that at least since she was wearing a skirt, her legs would dry fast, but there was nothing more obnoxious than waterlogged high heel shoes. _Forget the umbrella, I need a car._ Hitomi thought as taxis continued to pass her by. _I'd get home faster if I walked. _She realized cynically. Seeing the truth in her observation, she made her way away from the edge of the sidewalk and into the flowing throng of New Yorkers. Hitomi had lived here for just over half a year, so she could find her way home, but she definitely would have preferred to get out of the rain.

Lost in her thoughts of hateful cab drivers and their heartless ways, Hitomi only just noticed a flash of metal as a cutpurse stole her laptop and made off at a run. "Not today, buddy." Hitomi growled, chasing after him. She was angry enough, and that unlucky thief was going to pay for it. Kicking off her shoes to gain speed, Hitomi raced after him, thanking her brilliant foresight at being in track all through college. _Bastard didn't count on that, did he? _She smiled with a single minded focus as she gained on the surprised thief, chasing him through back alleys and back into open streets, and then back alleys again.

Hitomi was so determined to catch the thief that she never thought that he had some destination in mind until he scrambled up an emergency staircase deep in a maze of back alleys, launching himself through the window of a dilapidated looking apartment near the top. Without a moment of hesitation, Hitomi climbed after him, not even thinking how stupid it could be to enter a room blind until she found herself in the middle of several greasy looking men.

"Looky here!" one of the man hooted. "Little damp, but she looks nice to me."

"I brought her, save some for me." insisted the man who had led her here, dropping her bag as he advanced upon her with the other men.

"Y'all hold her down, I'll go first." a third man spoke, smirking at her terrified form.

"N...no..." Hitomi trembled, backing up until she hit the window. She glanced back, wondering if she could outrun all five of them. Seeing that escape was her only chance, Hitomi whirled to dive through the window, but several hands pulled her back, and she felt her hope disappear with her only chance of escape. "No!" she screamed this time, hoping that someone might hear her, might care enough to help. "Help me!!"

"No one can hear ya, girly." one of the men laughed, as they pinned her to the ground, chuckling at her tears and her desperation.

"Someone, please! Help!" she screamed, struggling futilely under the bruising grips of these men. Each one held one of her limbs down, and the fifth was working at his belt, obviously preparing to have his way with her.

"Ain't no one coming, sweetheart." the man who had her left arm down told her, his face so close she could smell the reek of liquor on his breath. Just then, a figure appeared out of the shadows, and Hitomi sobbed miserably, sure it was another assailant.

"Get off her." the voice was barely a whisper, and yet they could all hear it.

"Hey, who's there?" the fifth man stopped working at his belt, reaching in a side pocket and producing a knife. "Got something to say, come over here and say it to all of us." The figure did not reply, but he flew out of the shadows, moving in a blur of speed as he floored first one than another of the assailants. He moved so fast in the dark room that Hitomi couldn't see him clearly, but something about his presence and about that vaguely familiar voice put her at ease. Before she knew it, he had taken out all the men who had caused her so much trouble.

"Are you alright?" he asked, offering her an arm as she tried to see past the shadows which obscured his face from view.

"Just a little shaken..." Hitomi answered, taking his help as she noted how easily he lifted her. "Do...I know you?"

"You could say that." he answered, and she could see the glint of his smile, soft and warm in the dark room. "That's your bag, right?"

"Yeah, stupid of me to chase that guy, I guess." Hitomi babbled as she walked over to the bag, picking it up and dusting it off. "Seriously, I could have just bought a new one, I never should..." Hitomi stopped as she turned back to talk to the man who had saved her and found herself staring at empty space. "He's gone." she sighed before making her way back to the street before going home barefoot.

----------

__

Who could it have been? Hitomi wondered as she brushed her teeth before heading to bed. It had been nearly a month since the dangerous incident, and while she was still cautious of back alleys, she couldn't help but wonder who her mysterious rescuer had been. _He moved so fast, like a professional fighter. It's been so long since I've seen anyone move like that. And his voice...something about that voice. I know I've heard it before, but where?_

"No use, I suppose." Hitomi wiped her mouth, putting away her toothbrush as she moved to her bedroom. "I only wish I could've asked for his name. I didn't think there was anyone in this town left with a sense of chivalry. It'd be nice to know who he was."

Flipping off her lights, she yawned and looked at her digital clock. Only 9:45, but she was exhausted. Setting the alarm quickly, she climbed into her bed, hugging her pillow against her face as her breathing became slow and regular. She drifted into a sleep full of mysterious, dark figures who flew out of nowhere to save the day.

At 10:00 on the dot, a figure cloaked in shadow appeared at her bedside, running his fingers through her bangs before he sat down next to her, holding her hand.

At 11:00, he disappeared.

*****

The End (Of Part 2, That Is)


	3. I Can't Sleep...

I just spent all day sucking another one of my friends into the world of anime! Ooh hohohohohoho! I'm so evil. They can only resist for so long, and they always come back to me, begging for more. Silly little simpletons! Okay...um...maybe I should just write.

*****

In The Arms of The Angel

Part 3

*****

__

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light  
And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories

-Sarah McLachlan _I Will Remember You_

"I hate my life." Hitomi sighed sadly as she changed into her pajamas. "No friends, no one close to me. If I died, I doubt even my boss would notice." She was in one of her depressed moods again. Stupidly, she'd gone out to the movies alone, just to be saddened by the sight of so many happy couples and groups of friends alienating her with their social behavior. "Why can't I just be normal?" she asked, feeling a few tears leave her eyes as she shut off the lights, glancing at her digital clock. 9:58. If she was normal, she'd still be up with her friends, or out on a date. Instead, she was crying like a baby as she crawled into bed.

"I wish I could go to sleep and just never wake up." she cried, letting the tears stream down her face as she squeezed her eyes shut and lay in her bed. "My life is a waste."

"No it isn't." a soft, warm voice answered her. Hitomi yelped in surprise, her eyes flying open to stare at a shadowy figure standing beside her bed.

"Who's there?" she scrambled out of the opposite side of her bed, stumbling on her way to turn on the lights.

"It's me, don't you remember?" he asked her. "Please don't turn them on, or I'll have to leave."

"You..." Hitomi froze as something clicked home. "You saved me...from those men three weeks ago."

"Yes." he answered. "Do you remember?"

"You said...I knew you." Hitomi moved toward him slowly, trying to make out his hidden features. "I can't see you though...who are you?"

"You've forgotten, then?" he asked, sounding severely disappointed. "Or maybe I've changed more than I thought. No matter." He moved to hand her something. "Here, take this. You loaned it to me once long ago."

"What..." Hitomi took the proffered object, something small and hard as stone, but strangely warm. She'd felt a stone like that only once before. "My pendant!" she held it up, feeling the chain that it was attached to and placing the long missed weight around her neck. "But...then you...how'd you get that?"

"You gave it to me." he insisted. "Don't you remember?"

"Oh...gods...Van?" Hitomi trembled as she reached out to feel the face under her fingers, to see if touch could confirm this unbelievable development. "But...you were on Gaea."

"I died." he told her. "And now I come here."

"You...come here?" Hitomi was confused.

"When you're in danger, I'm there." he explained. "And every night, for one hour, I come to make sure you're all right."

"Why only one hour?" she asked.

"I suppose it's because I'm dead, so I'm not allowed much time to pretend I'm alive." Van was smiling, she could tell. A kind of ironic, humorless smile that you could hear better than you could see.

"But I've never seen you except that one night." Hitomi was confused. "Do you always come when I'm asleep?"

"Yes, always at the same time." Van confirmed. "I stand and I stare at your sleeping face."

"At...my face?" Hitomi blushed at that.

"I still love you, Hitomi. That's why I come." Van told her, reaching out to brush his fingers over her face.

"You do?" Hitomi gaped in surprise. Was this just a dream?

"Do...you?" he asked in return.

"I can't forget you." She answered. "And nothing seems to be able to fill your space."

"Hitomi...I missed you so." Van lunged forward, crushing her into a hug. Any doubts that this was really Van fled as her nostrils filled with his familiar scent. "I thought I'd die, I missed you so."

"Van...I'm sorry I left you. I never should have done that." Hitomi began to cry again, burying her face in his chest. Suddenly, she stopped, pulling a bit away from him. "You're warm."

"So?" he asked, confused.

"I thought you were dead." she explained. "Shouldn't you be cold?"

"I am whatever you want." he answered. "I'm here for your sake and yours alone."

"Van...don't ever leave." she pleaded. "Just stay with me forever. We can stay like this for the rest of our lives."

"Hitomi...I'm dead." he reminded her.

"I know...I saw it." Hitomi admitted.

"You still have those visions?" Van cringed, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry if it caused you suffering."

"Why did I leave Gaea? Life could have been so perfect." Hitomi sighed sadly.

"Why did I let you go?" Van asked in return. "If I could do everything over, I'd change two things about our past."

"What's the second thing?" Hitomi looked up in confusion.

"This." Van lowered his head, pressing his lips to hers firmly, passionately, pouring out all the built up emotions from all those years ago, from all the time apart. And she returned it all to him as they both remembered a love they had let lay unused and dormant when their different lives had torn them apart. After they broke, he held her until his hour was up, and he disappeared.

----------

"Here's that report you wanted, Lydia!" Hitomi cheerfully entered the older woman's office, placing the large file folder on her startled boss's desk.

"You seem unusually perky this morning, Hitomi." Lydia raised an auburn eyebrow at the strange behavior. "You must have had a nice weekend."

"Wonderful." Hitomi verified, thinking happily of her nights spent staying up late to see Van, to speak to him and feel truly important as he really listened to her. It was the first time in a long time that she'd felt as though she really mattered to anyone.

"I insist we go out to dinner tonight and you tell me all about it." Lydia smiled at the other woman. Ever since Hitomi first came to the company, she had tried without success to draw her out, to make friends with her. It seemed impossible to her that someone as skilled at advertising as Ms. Kanzaki could be so completely withdrawn. There had been glimmers of a happier person before, but the girl in front of her desk was like a brand new Hitomi.

"Well...there's not that much to tell, really." Hitomi blushed and shied away from the suggestion. She couldn't possibly explain this to her boss. What would she say? Oh, nothing really, Mrs. Ashman, it's just that my first love who lives on a different planet died and is now coming to visit me every night as a ghost! That would go over really well. She'd probably file a report against Hitomi, declaring her legally insane and totally incapable of her job.

"Oh, fine, be secretive." Lydia shrugged, "But say you'll go out to dinner with me anyway. Come on, we'll say that it's a business meeting and charge it to the company. We can go to some totally ritzy restaurant and pretend we're rich! It'll be fun."

"Mrs. Ashman, that isn't very ethical, is it?" Hitomi shook her head at her boss, then burst into laughter, surprising the other woman. "But how could I say no! I'll get the most expensive thing on the menu and then send it back ten times, saying it's not good enough and that my personal cook does a _much_ better job."

"All right! It's settled then." Lydia clapped her hands, excited at this. Hitomi had always politely declined before, and it hurt Lydia's feelings to think that perhaps the girl really just didn't want to be friends with her. "You'll have to get all dressed up. Do you have anything appropriate?"

"I'll dig something up." Hitomi winked at her. "Pick me up at seven?"

"It's a date." Lydia nodded, extremely pleased to finally be breaking through Hitomi's barrier. She insisted on making friends with all the people she worked with, and now she was finally making progress with the new girl.

*****

The End (Of Part 3, That Is)


	4. Rules of Love

God, I am really pissed at my college right now. They want me to pay more money for insurance, which I already have...and yeah, anyway, lets just get to the story. Thanks to all of you wonderful reviewers! You keep me going when I don't feel like writing.

*****

In The Arms of The Angel

Part 4

*****

__

What ravages of spirit  
conjured this temptuous rage  
created you a monster  
broken by the rules of love  
and fate has lead you through it  
you do what you have to do

--Sarah McLachlan _Do What You Have To Do_

"Hitomi, I really had a lot of fun tonight." Lydia smiled at the other woman as she pulled up in front of her apartment building. "I'm so glad we finally got to get out together."

"It really was a lot of fun, Lydia." Hitomi nodded, smiling back as she unbuckled her seatbelt, opening her door at the same time. "I'd forgotten how fun it could be to have a girlfriend to talk to."

"No problem! We'll really have to do this again, huh?" Lydia asked as Hitomi stepped out of the car.

"Sure! I'll see you at the office, then." Hitomi waved, closing the door as Lydia waved back before driving away. Sighing happily, Hitomi looked down at her silver watch to check the time as she walked up to her building. "Oh no...it can't really be that late, can it?" she murmured as she hurried up the stairs and scurried to unlock her door before rushing inside. "Van? Van, I'm home!" Hitomi tossed her purse aside before heading into her room, where she could see the shadowy figure sitting next to the digital clock that read 10:49.

"Hitomi, where did you go?" Van jumped up at once, moving to embrace her as she tossed aside her dressy scarf. "I was so worried that maybe you didn't want to see me."

"Van, that's silly." Hitomi hugged him back before pressing her hand to his chest for support as she pulled off her shoes. "I had a dinner date with my boss. Her name's Lydia Ashman, and she's one of the sweetest ladies I know."

"Oh..." Van lowered his head as she straightened up, obviously embarrassed. "I didn't mean to get all upset...it's just that...I wanted to see you, but you weren't here..."

"It's okay. I didn't mean to be so late, honestly." She told Van, working at the zipper on her evening gown. "Could you help me?" she asked, turning around and indicating the zipper.

"Oh, sure." Van obviously wasn't familiar with the mechanism, but it was easy enough once he figured it out. "That's...a very nice dress."

"You like it?" Hitomi looked over her shoulder, grinning at him. "I haven't worn it for...probably five years now."

"Why not?" Van asked as she left the room to change into her nightgown.

"I don't know, I never really had any reason to wear it." Hitomi answered, sliding into her nightgown easily before re-entering the room with the gown draped over her arm. She moved to the closet, hanging it back up.

"I was just asking...because...it's very beautiful..." Van stumbled over his words. "I mean, _you're_ very beautiful...when you wear it...not that you aren't now..."

"Van? Are you having troubles? Is that compliment stuck in your mouth?" Hitomi teased. "Let me get it out." she leaned forward, going on tiptoe to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Van didn't know what else to do, so he held her even tighter, deepening the kiss. "Thanks." Hitomi told him as they broke, burying her head in his chest.

"I love standing like this." Van spoke up after a while. "It's hard, knowing that my country is without a leader, without an heir. Knowing that Merle is without any family. But none of that bothers me when I'm here with you. You're all that matters."

"Van...if only it were always like this." she sighed, noticing that it was a minute before eleven. He could go any second. "I wish you hadn't died."

"If I hadn't, then I couldn't be here now." Van told her, his voice fading away slightly as his form became less solid. Finally, he disappeared, and Hitomi sighed, going to bed and setting her alarm.

"But you aren't here." she spoke to the empty space. Somehow, she was sure he heard her.

----------

"Van, don't you wish we were like normal couples?" she asked the man that she was laying against as he sat up in her bed, running his fingers through her hair.

"What do you mean?" he asked her, pausing in his ministrations only momentarily.

"Well, do you remember how Allen and Millerna were?" Hitomi asked him. "They got to see each other all the time, Van. And if they wanted to, they could go places together."

"Allen and Millerna are both alive, though." Van reminded her.

"How are they, by the way?" Hitomi turned, scooting up so that she was sitting on Van's lap.

"Well, Allen's the same man you remember, I'm sure. Always leading girls on and then breaking their hearts. It makes you wonder if he even cared about Marlene as much as he claims to." Van laughed slightly. "Chid still doesn't know the truth about his father, but Allen says it's for the best. He's growing up very fast, you know. His advisors are pushing him to marry."

"Chid? Old enough to marry?" Hitomi laughed. "Somehow I can't imagine that."

"He is, though." Van assured her. "And then there's Millerna. She's back with Dryden, and they have...hmm...as I remember, there were six children, with another on the way."

"That many?" Hitomi's eye bulged. "What do they do all day?"

"Well...who knows?" Van's voice was vaguely suggestive, and it made Hitomi burst into laughter. "Anyway, the oldest is a girl, and they named her Hitomi. Everyone missed you so much, and they really feel like without you, they may have never ended up together."

"I'm glad you kept in touch with all of them. I was worried that when I left, you would all drift apart." Hitomi told him, playing with his unruly locks of hair.

"We did, actually. But it's pretty easy to keep tabs on the others when you've got Merle, the social director, constantly with you." Van chuckled low, pulling Hitomi against his chest gently.

"How is Merle, then?" Hitomi asked. "I mean...how was she...before...what happened?"

"Don't worry about it. I can kind of...keep an eye on things from where I am, which is nice. She's having a hard time dealing with it all, but I know that if anyone can pull through, it's her. She's been through a lot, you know." Van told her. "But I think she'll be okay. They're still deciding on who should take over as King of Fanelia and it seems like they're just going to send a bunch of young nobles out to see who's the first to pass the rite."

"I guess that's a good plan." Hitomi shrugged. "Will Merle get to stay in the palace?"

"I don't think so." Van admitted. "But don't worry. I know that the others won't let her be kicked out into the street. I think she's been corresponding with Chid about a position on his staff. He'd probably like an advisor that isn't close to being an antique. And besides, those two are good friends. She feels for him, you know. She never really knew her parents, they died so young. I think she feels really bad for him. And she always thought it was very brave of him to take over as Duke of Freid."

"Really?" Hitomi raised her eyebrows. "You don't think...Merle...and Chid?"

"I don't really know about those things." Van told her. "But she does seem awfully taken with him. And he has grown up...rather well."

"Do you mean...he's good looking, then?" Hitomi giggled. "I'm not surprised. If Marlene was half as pretty as Millerna...and then, of course Allen was very attractive."

"Yeah, he knew it, too." Van seemed a little put off by her comment.

"Don't get jealous, Van." Hitomi turned, kissing him on the lips. "You're better looking than him anyway."

"Really?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "As I remember, you seemed to think he could do no wrong."

"I was young and stupid. He was very...charismatic." Hitomi explained. "But I love you, Van. I wouldn't be happy with anyone else, no matter how they look."

"Hitomi...I love you too." he told her, brushing his fingers through her hair before he leaned in for another kiss. As they broke, he faded away, and Hitomi felt a tear slip down her cheek.

"Then why can't you stay?" she asked, climbing under her covers to go to bed.

*****

The End (Of Part 4, That Is)

Emerald Mist: Look, I'm writing! Sorry if I'm slow at all, but your eager reviews keep me trying to keep up with all the stories I'm writing simultaneously. Silly me.

Firefly: Trust me, I know the feeling! I'll do what I can to get these chapters out at a reasonable rate. I hope I'm doing it fast enough...

Jade: Naughty naughty thoughts of Van! Bad Jade! What shall I tell Kouga?


	5. Yearning to Be Near You

Man, this story just keeps wracking up the reviews! It makes me so happy and also inspires me to continue. Not like the review I just got for this other story...never mind. Anyway, here's the next part!

*****

In The Arms of The Angel

Part 5

*****

__

I have the sense to recognize that  
I don't know how to let you go  
every moment marked  
with apparitions of your soul  
I'm ever swiftly moving  
trying to escape this desire  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do

-Sarah McLachlan _Do What You Have To Do_

"Hitomi?" the voice was unsure, coming from her room. Hitomi looked up, realizing that she had been working so hard on a new client's report that she had lost track of time. It was already ten at night. "Are you here?"

"Van! I'm right here, just a second." Hitomi smoothed a hand over her hair, hurriedly moving away from her computer and into her bedroom, where he was waiting for her.

"Hitomi, I thought I'd missed you." Van's voice was full of relief.

"No, I was just in the other room." Hitomi quirked her head at him as he moved to hug her. "Van, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." he answered, folding his arms around her and kissing her forehead.

"Well, some things have been bothering me..." she began. "Like, you're warm, but you don't have a heartbeat." Hitomi pressed her head to his chest to demonstrate what she meant.

"I'm dead." Van explained. "Of course I don't."

"Yeah, but that's not all." Hitomi pulled away a bit. "It's just...how come you only come at night, always at the same time, always in here? And how come I can't see you in the light?"

"I...don't really know." Van admitted. "I want to see you all the time, but I guess...since I'm dead...I don't know."

"But what about the light thing?" she asked.

"I guess I can just show you." he answered. Van left her side, moving to the door which was barely cracked open. He opened it further so that a broad band of light came through. "See what happens?" he moved his arm in the band and it became transparent. Hitomi gasped, moving forward and reaching for his arm, but her hand went right through the transparent apparition. "I think it's because I'm not real. Not really."

"But...if you aren't real, why do you feel real to me?" Hitomi closed the door, hugging him just to assure herself that he was still there. "And if you're real to me, why can't you always be real?"

"I don't really worry about it." Van told her, his voice shaky. "If you want me here, then I come as often as I'm allowed. And I guess...that's not a lot. Something has to be behind this. Something is keeping me here right now. But maybe it isn't powerful enough to do that all the time. I don't know."

"Van...I want you to come here." Hitomi led him to her bed. "Maybe...maybe if I want it enough, you'll be here when I wake up." There was a question behind her voice, and Van didn't know the answer.

"I want to be..." he answered. "I wish we could always be together...Hitomi?"

"Yes, Van?" she asked, pulling him down onto the bed so that she could cuddle against him.

"If...we were both alive and I was on Gaea...and so were you...and I asked you to be my queen, what would you have said?" he asked. "Would you have stayed with me? Would we have lived together?"

"Yes." Hitomi assured him. "I think, when I left, I was worried that you didn't really want me there. I thought that you offered for me to stay, but I wasn't sure if you really loved me the way I loved you. And when you gave me the choice, I thought you wanted me to leave."

"I was so stupid then." Van sighed, holding her close. "I should have claimed you as mine, and then maybe...Hitomi, what are you doing?" Van's eyes widened as he felt her fingers moving at his waist, working the ties free.

"If you're real...we should make sure." Hitomi kissed his neck heatedly. "If you're real, I'll feel it when you're with me...then maybe...maybe you'll stay with me."

"Hitomi, I don't...think." Van gasped as she achieved her goal, her hand slipping inside his loosened pants before working them off. "I don't know if...we should do this..."

"Why not, Van?" Hitomi asked him. "I love you and you love me, right? We should...prove it. Maybe then you can stay..."

"Hitomi...don't...please." Van pushed her fumbling hands away. "I don't think..."

"Van?" Hitomi stopped, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you want to? Don't you want to be with me?"

"Hitomi, you're upset right now. I don't think we should do anything like that." Van told her, both hands on her shoulders. "It's not that I don't want to...I just don't want it to be like this." his voice caught with emotion. "Because...I don't think we can stay together."

"I...I know." Hitomi sighed, relaxing. "I just thought...Van, will you stay here with me? Until I fall asleep, I mean. Will you just...stay here and hold me?" she asked him, sniffling slightly.

"I'll stay." he told her, wrapping his arms around her as she replaced his pants. "I'll always stay with you, as long as I can."

"But how long will you be able to?" she asked, tears spilling down her cheeks. But this time, he was there to kiss them away. He didn't answer her question, though. He didn't know the answer, and he didn't want to lie to her. It was enough for Hitomi that he was there, though. She fell asleep in his arms, letting his warmth and his scent soak into her.

----------

"Do you realize how long it's been?" Hitomi asked Van as she dozed lightly in his arms. Ever since the first night they had slept together, he always joined her in bed. "Since you first came to me, I mean?"

"I've been visiting you for seventy-four days." Van told her. "As long as you count the nights where you didn't know I was there."

"Over two months." Hitomi sighed, brushing her fingers through his hair. "Two months where I've been...so happy...but I still..."

"I know, I know you want more from me." Van sighed. "I can't do anything about it, though. I'm here only for you. Isn't that enough?"

"Sometimes...but most of the time, I can't help but wish...one of these mornings maybe you'll be there when I wake up. How can I be sure you're really here if you always leave?" Hitomi asked him.

"Does this feel real to you?" Van pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly. "And this?" he moved to her jawbone, placing warm kisses upon her pale skin.

"Yes, but I still..." Hitomi was silenced by another kiss, this one not as gentle as the first. She responded to his need, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, moaning slightly into the kiss. Her breath caught as he continued to kiss her, moving down to her neck as his calloused hands moved shakily up her legs. "Van, I thought...you didn't want to..."

"I...I'll stop if you want." he told her, freezing in the midst of his motions. "I told you, I do want to. And if you do...we should at least be as close we can while we have this time." Hitomi considered his words before she moved a bit under him, lifting herself up to kiss him heatedly.

"You're right, Van." Hitomi pressed her lips to his chin. "I want this, whether we can stay together or not. Whatever happens, I want this forever."

"Maybe...this will be forever." he told her, moving over her as she responded in a dance older than time, her pendant glowing with all the love in the air.

*****

The End (Of Part 5, That Is)

Firefly: Look at me! I say I'll go faster, and then I slow down....grr...okay, well I'll let you in on a little secret. This story is soooo close to ending...oohohohoho!

Diamondchick: Um...here it is...though my hurrying obviously isn't very good...sniff...I'm sorry!

Emerald Mist: Well, this story is coming close to it's conclusion...and shall I say, something happening out of the blue? You'll see soon enough....

Cous-cous: Maybe, maybe...I'm glad you like the story and find it original, that's totally what I was going for.

Ah-Young: Oh, how I love you, oh very first reviewer of this story! You are great and you make me soooo happy! And that fake crying thing...gods, that was funny. Thanks for being such a great reviewer.

Calendar: So glad to see you like this one as well! Yay! *does happy dance* I may not be updating the other for awhile cause I got a mean review and it upset me a lot...something about how I don't take rape seriously enough and how I make it one big joke...sniffle...I don't, do I? Oh well. We'll just keep with this one for now, eh?

Agent Kodama: My heart swells with joy to see you reviewing not once but a record THREE TIMES!!! Oh, dood, did you hear that IY is going to be on Cartoon Network? I'm so happy I could squeal! Oh wait...I did...


	6. Beautiful Release

Oh my god...I think this is it! This is probably one of my shortest stories, but it was sweet and I loved writing it. It made me soooo happy! I would like to thank a few people for various reasons. I'd like to thank Jade for believing in this story and never actually throwing her shoe at my head, for always being my number one fan, as I am hers! I'd like to thank Agent Kodama for never giving away the plot to others as she was the ground I tested this idea upon. We should all live in a little world where life and love are happy. And everyone is asexual, ne Agent Kodama? I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed this story, but most especially, I'd like to extend a special thank you to Ah-Young. You see, only two people reviewed the first chapter of this story, and since Jade reviews every chapter of every one of my stories, she already knows how much I love her. But Ah-Young was the first person to review this story at all, and were it not for that one review, I might have never continued. I also appreciate my other faithful reviewers, but Ah-Young is special to me. And of course, as I am narcissistic to no small extreme, I would like to thank myself for coming up with the plot of this story. Cause yeah, it was me. And I would like to thank Sarah McLachlan, who I listened to almost constantly when writing this story. She may never read this, but who cares! She deserves a thank you too. Now, with no further ado, the last chapter of this story...

*****

In The Arms Of The Angel

Part 6

*****

__

Spend all your time waiting  
For that second chance  
For the break that would make it okay  
There's always some reason  
To feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction  
Oh, a beautiful release  
Let memories seep through my veins  
Let me be empty, falling weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight  
In the arms of the angel

- Sarah McLachlan _Angel_

Light crept over the room, coming in through the gap left between the white curtains, leaving a beam as it crawled over the beige carpet, up the side of the bed with it's haphazardly placed cream comforter. It left shadows as it crossed over the hills and valleys of the fabric, over a carelessly extended foot, and on up over a tangle of limbs that could only be a pair of lovers sleeping in an intimate embrace, their senses dead to the world that extended beyond that bed. Slowly, but with a fluid grace of one who was well rested and truly content, an arm stretched from it's resting place before finding it's way back around the waist of the woman still sleeping in those arms. Making a sleepy noise of protest at the advent of day, she moved closer to her lover, nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck.

"Mmm, what time is it?" she asked the man she lay with. He yawned deeply, holding her more tightly to him.

"Too early...I'm exhausted." and he sounded as though he could sleep for days and weeks and months, his voice was so full of sleep. But then, the woman woke so suddenly, nearly jumping from his arms and leaving him with no choice but to blink his weary maroon orbs up at her, wondering at her excited state. "What's...wait a second..."

"You...you're here still!" Hitomi shrieked, leaping back at him and tackling him into the soft mattress. "You're still here and it's morning!"

"What happened?" Van wondered, happy, but confused at this turn of events. Hitomi hugged him tighter, kissing at his throat as though verifying that he was really there. "How am I here?" Van asked. Then, as if on some secret cue, Hitomi's pendant rolled off the edge of the bedside table, hitting the floor with a soft thump. Hitomi lifted her head, tears of happiness still streaming down her face as she picked up the powerful charm, which swirled with a bright pink light and was warm to the touch.

"The pendant..." Hitomi's eyes grew wide. "I wanted for so long...I asked so many times for you to stay...why did it only work now?"

"Maybe...because it works on the power of people's emotions. It feeds on what we're feeling, and that gives it the power to grant wishes." he told her, sitting up and stroking the side of her face, looking up at her adoringly.

"So last night...with our love and our need to be together...we made it happen?" Hitomi's voice caught and she let Van's arms envelope her, pulling her body against his, helping her to see how truly real this moment was, how strong their feelings were, so thick she could scarcely breathe.

"Hitomi...I've wanted this for so long, but after I died...I never thought I'd see you again." Van admitted, choking slightly on the words. "Now that I'm here, I'll stay for the rest of my days, however long or short that might be."

"I hope it's a long time. I never want to say goodbye to you again, Van. I love you." Hitomi told him, moving against his body, letting him taste the tears on her face.

"I love you too, Hitomi. Always." He kissed her soundly, both of them ignoring the morning as they nestled into each other's arms, feeling each other and feeling a hope for a future that might not have been.

----------

"Mommy, mommy look!" a little boy with dark, unruly hair ran to his mother, climbing into her arms to show her the rocks he had found for her. "See? This one looks like a cat...and this one's red...and this one's pointy like a sword...and this one's smooth and dark!"

"Very nice, Van honey." the woman kissed his head, accepting the presents before he ran off to play in the garden again.

"He looks so much like your father, you have no idea." an elderly woman told her, smiling fondly at the small boy, her grandson.

"I wish he'd been able to meet dad." the mother sighed. "Mom, do you think that dad can see him...from where he is?"

"I'm sure of it, my dear." she patted her daughter's head, standing up with little difficulty. "I know that he sees us, and that he still wants us to know that he loves us all very much."

"How do you know, mom?" the woman asked. "I mean, how do you know for sure?"

"He visits me." she told her in a soft voice meant only for her daughter to hear. "As long as I carry him in my heart, we are tied together. As long as I have this..." the older woman reached to her neck, showing her daughter the pink stone she wore around her neck. "This pendant...it still has our love in it. When I forget that he cared for us, and that he wanted to be with us...when I think it's unfair he died so young, I look at this, and it reminds me to treasure what times I had, what times I may yet have when we're finally together again."

"Mom..." the woman was at a loss. She didn't want to call her mother crazy, and somehow, the words were reassuring. Maybe if her mother believed in it so strongly, it was true.

"Varie, I know you don't believe me, but it's true. Not a day goes by that I don't wish he was still here with me." the older woman sighed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go inside for a moment. It's too warm out here and my body is too old for this weather."

"Alright, mom." Varie smiled after her mother before turning her attention back to her son playing with pebbles on the ground. From inside, the older woman watched them through a window.

"They're so young, so sweet and innocent." she spoke to no one in particular.

"I know it, Hitomi." a male voice answered, and she turned to see a man who looked much younger than her.

"Van, I miss you. Varie misses you too." Hitomi smiled softly at the ghost. "If only you had not been so weak in your second life, you might be here with me still."

"I am here, my dear." Van told her, his ethereal hand brushing over her age wrinkled face. "And if I had to die young, it was worth it to spend the last of my days with you."

"When will we be together again, Van?" Hitomi asked him.

"I've told you before." he smiled at her. "In two years, one month, and six days."

"I wait for that time." Hitomi sighed. "It's useless for me to be here anymore."

"Don't say that." Van told her. "You can see our daughter and our grandson. You can hold them in your arms and feel their warmth. You can spend all this time with them, time I was never given."

"I know it, Van." Hitomi smiled at the ghost as it began to fade. "But I won't be happy until we're together. Until then, know I love you."

"And I love you. Always." Van's figure faded and Hitomi sighed, turning her eyes back to the small bits of family she had left. The only proof that Van had lived again and that they had loved each other so deeply. The only proof she needed, more proof than she could have wanted.

"Soon, my love." she smiled. "Soon I'll be in your arms once more."

*****

The End!


End file.
